horus and set lettuce

We take deep dives into our subjects, infusing our articles with an always informative, sometimes irreverent, sometimes funny approach. 20.63MB: DOWNLOAD: 2019-03-15: 1.3.03: 1. Thoth and Shu declared Horus the rightful ruler of Egypt, but Ra argued that Seth was more powerful and therefore deserved the throne. Required fields are marked *. Furthermore, lettuce is replete with vitamin A which bolsters both the male and female reproductive systems. In this myth, lettuce, an ancient aphrodisiac, is the tool used to submit Set to Horus’s power. Seeking a final verdict, the judges decided to appeal to Osiris, who now ruled the underworld. Set… Despite this damning evidence, Seth somehow convinced the trio of judges to stage one more contest: a race of stone ships down the Nile. The semen comes out of Set himself, and he becomes the laughing stock of the gods! Osiris ruled as pharaoh of Egypt with his sister-wife Isis, bringing peace and prosperity to the land. On the other side of the temple, the relief swaps the positions of Sobek and Horus. Horus then deliberately spreads his own semen on some lettuce, which was Set's favorite food. This time it sunk into the body of Seth. [Horus wins the kingship and Seth is compensated] Horus, son of Isis, was brought, and the White Crown was set upon his head and he was installed in the position of his father Osiris. Then Horus placed his hands between his thighs and received Seth’s semen. “The throne is mine by virtue of my strength,” Seth said. 1.3.04SC is the version of Simplified Chinese . Horus thwarted Set, catching Set's semen in his hands. In ancient Egypt, lettuce was not considered a part of one’s salad but rather, an aphrodisiac. Unbeknownst to Set, he ate lettuce along with Horus’ semen, where it was held in his body as in a woman’s body for conception. The first to come up for air would lose. Let Seth’s semen be summoned that we may see from where it answers, and my own be summoned that we may see from where it answers.”. Homosexual Incest and Semen-Covered Lettuce. The contest between them is often violent but is also described as a legal judgment before the Ennead, an assembled group of Egyptian deities, to decide who should inheritthe kingship. It was said that Set's favourite food was lettuce, as Egyptian lettuce is long, firm, and releases a milky substance when rubbed, an innuendo clearly referring to the phallus. Horus then deliberately spreads his own semen on some lettuce, which was Set's favorite food. The gods first listened to Set's claim of dominance over Horus, and call his semen forth, but it answered from the river, invalidating his claim. But the story takes an erotic turn soon afterwards: Now afterward, (at) evening time, bed was prepared for them, and they both lay down. This one deals with the power struggle that ensued between the two contenders for the throne: the murderous Seth and Osiris’ son, the falcon-headed Horus. Tired from decapitating his mother, Horus went to sleep on the mountaintop. When young Horus showed his mother, Isis, what had happened, she cut off her son’s hands, aroused him and jerked him off into a jar. Overnight, they grew into lotuses. Seth really liked salad — only that wasn’t ranch dressing on it! Thoth put his hand on Horus’ shoulder and said, “Come out, you semen of Seth.” It answered him instead from the marsh along the Nile, where Isis had dumped it. Horus God readily agreed; he made a boat of cedar covered with gypsum to give it the appearance of stone, and set it floating on the water. She caused it to become stiff and inserted it into a pot, and he caused his semen to flow down into it. Not quite a Disney movie. Main Office: (734) 764-9265 Horus places his hand between his legs, catches Set’s semen and throws it into the river. Through his phallus, Horus was able to give Set his comeuppance but it was by food that the plan was carried to completion. The original name also survives in later Egyptian names such as Har-Si-Ese literally "Horus, son of Isis". His mother spreads powerful unguents on Horus' penis, after which he ejaculated into a jar, and they spread it on some lettuce, a favourite aphrodisiac to the ancient Egyptians. For women, the vitamin stimulates our cycles and for the men, it assists with sperm production, and  of course, virility. After Set had eaten the lettuce, they went to the gods to try to settle the argument over the rule of Egypt. Seth God saw that his nephew had successfully launched what appeared to be a stone boat and hurried about doing the same. Note: 1.3.04 is the standard version of English 1.3.04L is the Localization version which need you to do translation by yourselves. She let out a loud shriek, seized the copper (knife), cut off his hand(s) that were equivalent. R Smite: ... EDIT: I didn't draw this, it was shown in the behind the scenes for Set and Horus vid. MQR receives support from the Michigan Council for Arts and Cultural Affairs, “Lettuce and Kings: The Power Struggle Between Horus and Set”. In the world of Ancient Egypt, there wasn’t any real conception of homosexuality. Learn how your comment data is processed. Search the archive for over fifty years of fiction, poetry, essays, and more. Realizing this, she pulled free the harpoon and cast it back into the water. Horus and Isis's next plan was to 'impregnate' Set with Horus' semen. Horus is recorded in Egyptian hieroglyphs as ḥr.w and is reconstructed to have been pronounced *Ḥāru, meaning "Falcon". Seth returned according to his daily habit and ate the lettuce, which he regularly ate. Seth argues that Horus cannot be king because his breath stinks — an allusion to Horus breastfeeding from his mother, Isis, and a dig at his youth. So without further ado, let’s go back thousands upon thousands of years ago to the great civilization of ancient Egypt. And Isis added the semen of Horus onto it. According to one view, Set became associated with the Hyksos invaders who conquered the Nile Delta and therefore, by the time of the Second Intermediate period, Set had become regarded as a malevolent deity. Elsewhere, Horus and the ibis-headed Thoth are pouring holy water over Ptolemy XII, while Sobek looks on. In a rage, Seth once again transformed into a hippopotamus and bashed his head into Horus’ ship. The gods first listened to Set’s claim of dominance over Horus, and call his semen forth, but it answered from the river, invalidating his claim. Subsequently, Horus secretly masturbates, and deliberately spreads his own semen on some lettuce, which was Set's favourite food (the Egyptians thought that lettuce was phallic, since Egyptian lettuce … Isis, desperately wanting her son to be pharaoh, magically created a copper harpoon, which she threw into the water. It’s one thing to have semen caught in your hands, but to actually ingest becomes of grave consequence. Search the archive for over fifty years of fiction, poetry, essays, and more. Isis then tossed Seth’s semen into the marshes of the Nile and devised a plan to deceive him: Isis at morning time went carrying the semen of Horus to the garden of Seth and said to Seth’s gardener: “What sort of vegetable is it that Seth eats here in your company?” So the gardener told her: “He doesn’t eat any vegetable here in my company except lettuce.” And Isis added the semen of Horus onto it. Horus cut off Isis’ head, carried it up a mountain and tossed it away. A procession of priests carry large stalks of lettuce–phallic symbols, tall and erect. The judges wanted the two gods to make amends. Set then asked the gods to bring the semen forth from the ‘impregnated’ one, to humiliate Osiris’ son. This special game was created in 2016 by Reel Time Gaming and eventually licenced to the Blueprint Gaming slot portfolio.. With a top prize per payline of 500 coins (that’s $1,000 at the max $2 a line), it’s a less wild ride than other slots. Because Set has performed a “labor of a male against him,” Horus cannot rule over anyone. But during the night, Seth caused his phallus to become stiff and inserted it between Horus’ thighs. 2. She let out a loud shriek, seized the copper [knife], cut off his hand[s] that were equivalent. After Set had eaten the lettuce, they went to the gods to try to settle the argument over the rule of Egypt. Set then ate the semen-covered lettuce, and so Horus (rather than Set with his first ‘attack’) bacame sexually dominant over his uncle. Talk about mommy issues! Michigan Quarterly Review, founded in 1962, is the University of Michigan’s flagship literary journal, publishing each season a collection of essays, interviews, memoirs, fiction, poetry, and book reviews. Horus went to tell his mother Isis: “Help me, Isis, my mother, come and see what Set has done to me.” And he opened his hand(s) and let her see Set’s semen. The original name also survives in later Egyptian names such as Har-Si-Ese literally "Horus, son of Isis". It was adopted into Greek as Ὡρος Hōros. Horus then took an oath by god as follows: “All that Set has said is false. “Botanical No. Set seems to like spicy burritos (make sure they have sour cream and lettuce, because it references a myth where he ate a salad covered with Horus's.... Well ah. Lettuce. Set was born of the sky goddess Nut and the earth god Geb. He has Horus place his own semen on the lettuce patch so that Seth ingests it. Seth decided that the first feat of strength would be to have them both turn into hippopotami and sit on the bottom of the Nile. But travel is so much more than just ticking sites off your itinerary. As the son of Osiris, Horus presented his claim to the throne to a tribunal of three of the most powerful deities in the Egyptian pantheon: the sun god Ra (aka Re); Thoth, the god of wisdom; and Shu, the god of air. He's also accepted a homemade pizza and a package of Hostess "HoHos..." (*Rolls eyes* He's like that. Thoth put his hand on Set’s shoulder and said: “Come out, you semen of Horus.”, Then it said to him: “Where shall I come from?”, Thoth said to it: “Come out from his ear.”, Thereupon it said to him: “Is it from his ear that I should issue forth, seeing that I am divine seed?”, Then Thoth said to it:”Come out from the top of his head.”, And it emerged as a golden solar disk upon Set’s head. It came apart in splinters, exposing the young god’s deceit. Thoth snatched it away and placed it as a crown upon his own head. But the injured god appealed to Isis as her brother, and she caved and helped him. There is an urge that needs to be met and through with either one–or more–of our orifices, we are able to become full. Let Set’s semen be summoned that we may see from where it answers, and my own be summoned that we may see from where it answers.”, Then Thoth, lord of script and scribe of truth for the Ennead, put his hand on Horus’s shoulder and said: “Come out, you semen of Set.”, And it answered him from the water in the interior of the marsh. Set tries to insert himself into Horus’ thighs, similar to how a man would ease into a woman, in order to assert his superiority by mounting Horus. Then she fetched some fragrant ointment and applied it to Horus’ phallus. Seth approached the tribunal and declared with confidence, “Let me be awarded the office of Ruler … for as to Horus, the one who is standing [trial], I have performed the labor of a male against him.”, This drawing on a shard of pottery shows that Ancient Egyptians had a gay old time, Horus spoke up: “All that Seth has said is false. Thereupon he became pregnant with the semen of Horus. Because Set eats the semen-covered lettuce, in the eyes of the gods, Horus … Sure, we cover the basics — where to go, what to see. Another theory suggests that there was a battle between the followers of Set and those of Horus at some point in time. The next day, Horus (or his mother Isis) plots to inseminate Set. Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1070 As you may or may not know, Horus is one of the most important gods out of the entire Egyptian pantheon. * On the relief of his funerary temple, Ramses III partakes in a harvest festival in honor of Min. Don’t worry, Horus was able to regain his eyes with the help of a mistress named Hathor. In this scene, we can extrapolate that virility is synonymous with dominance. For this post, I will be discussing the royal intrigue between two gods, Horus and Set. Now afterward, [at] evening time, bed was prepared for them, and they both lay down. This was achieved by having Horus’s semen spread over some lettuce, which was supposed to be Set’s favorite vegetable. The myth most likely has origins even earlier than that. Set became exceeding furious and extended his hand(s) to seize the golden solar disk. Taking pity on the blinded boy, the cow-headed goddess Hathor came to Horus’ aid, pouring gazelle milk on his wounds and restoring his sight. Isis at morning time went carrying the semen of Horus to the garden of Set and said to Set’s gardener: “What sort of vegetable is it that Set eats here in your company?”  So the gardener told her: “He doesn’t eat any vegetable here in my company except lettuce.” And Isis added the semen of Horus onto it. Horus (or Isis herself in some versions) then deliberately spreads his own semen on some lettuce, which was Set's favorite food. As experimentation on my part, I will be starting a blog series on food and sexuality in literature beginning in chronological order (as best as I can). Out of all foods, why would it be lettuce instead of chocolate or oysters, which are said to stir sexual arousal? Horus, enraged, emerged from the water. By Coptic times, the name became Hōr. Later, the reason that the Moon was not as bright as the Sun was explained by a tale, known as The Contendings of Horus and Seth. Image courtesy of KerrisdaleGallery.com. 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